Sheathed Words
by Lily Nova
Summary: Kurama has always been careful about what he said to Hiei. Every conversation was a minefield that he cautiously threaded. But is that really how a relationship is supposed to work? After accidentally being caught out observing Hiei he decides he doesn't want to be afraid anymore. Kurama X Hiei Rated M for a little language.


**_Hi this was totally spontaneous and random and then some. I do not own anything but the story and the words in my back pocket. Kurama and Hiei belong to a more important person._**

**Sheathed Words**

He liked to observe his partner.

Funny how he called him that. Never had he thought they would come to this point. An ally, most certainly. On occasions he dreamed of becoming a friend to the distant demon; but lovers? Partners in life? He almost laughed at the notion.

Watching him now, his red eyes wandering the sky, chest moving slightly as he breathed, it seemed even more ridiculous. He stared at the hand he held not too long ago, strangely small yet calloused from a grueling life, now relaxed and light. At what point in time did he realize he found him beautiful? When was the moment he looked into those red eyes and felt more than friendship?

"What are you looking at?"

Hiei was staring directly at him now, his gaze seconds away from a glare. Kurama forgot he was so blatantly watching the fire demon's every action, so deep in thought over the absurdity of their relationship.

He furrowed slightly in thought, was it wrong to stare at his lover? He almost wanted to comment on it. _Oh? I can't watch you? I thought we were sleeping together. _Or perhaps _You didn't mind it last night._ But the humor would be lost on Hiei and it would either turn him red with anger or embarrassment, perhaps even both. Although it would be fun the consequences would probably outweigh the red heads need to lighten the mood.

Half the comments he could reply to Hiei's question would cause the demon to leave. Driving him away was definitely something he wanted to avoid so he had to be careful. Even at this point in their relationship he had to tread lightly. Every conversation was a lottery no matter how comfortable Hiei felt with him. One wrong move and he could potentially push him away, no matter how close he had gotten to him. This notion terrified him so much that at times the young man was so flustered he was unable to communicate at all.

_Calm down and think. You have to be patient with him. _He would say to himself. _You are lucky to even have him here, in your room, __**actually**__ listening to you. Be grateful. _

Kurama was ever the patient man, but patience as he knew very well, could only take him so far before desperation kicked in. He felt sick, a strange knot in his throat as his thoughts spiraled in his head ringing against his ears like a caged bird. Was this a relationship? Was he fine with it being like this? Treating his lover like a minefield, carefully watching his step, planning his every decision so that he didn't trigger an explosion. Was this how a relationship was meant to be?

Hiei's eyes had long changed from slightly offended, now wide with confusion as he watched the other swallow nervously. _If only you knew,_ Kurama thought, _if only I could tell you what it's like to love you._

He saw Hiei's perplexed eyes and simply smiled at him.

"You don't like it?"

A twitch in the others gaze. Crap, not good, had he miscalculated? Had he stepped on a mine despite all those plans and tactics? Why would he say that? He could already imagine the reactions and harsh words that would come from the silent demon.

_Yes it bugs me. Stop it._

_It's disgusting. Stare at something else, idiot._

_I hate it. Never do it again._

…

"Do what you want. It doesn't bother me."

What?

He could see the calmness, the relaxed aura as Hiei tuned to once again to stare out the window, eyes not in the least angry. Breath slow as he leaned further against the windowsill. He saw it all and for once, Kurama was confused. He didn't mind it? The answer was far from what he imagined would come from the fire demons mouth. The air was quiet once again and he watched the demon, stomach churning from the anxiety, heart pounding as he looked at his partner's content expression. When had he lost his cool, calm demeanor, he wondered? When had he started acting like an unexperienced child when it came to feelings of the heart? Questions racked against his mind with no answer in sight, he had lost his ability to think and now all that was his exceptional intellect was blown away by Hiei's simple statement.

Awkwardness again. His hands were sweaty and he did not want the other to see him wipe it off. He did not want him to see how weak he had become.

_How human he had become…_

"Hiei?" He spoke too quietly but it caused the fire demon to divert his gaze back to him.

He closed his eyes, but time did not stop as he'd hoped. He opened them and finally spoke.

"I have a favour to ask you. It's not much." He tried to wipe his hands inconspicuously but ended up feeling ridiculously childish, "I just want to ask a few questions."

At 'questions' Hiei's eyes narrowed slightly, head tilted slightly as he listened, waiting for the taller man to continue. _He's listening, just put it lightly and you'll be fine,_ Kurama calmed himself. _There's no reason he'd hate you for asking this. _

"It's just, no matter the question, I'd like you to try not to leave. No matter what I say at this point." He finally said it, "You can disagree, swear or refuse to answer, just," He paused, nearly stumbling on his words, "Just, don't leave please."

It had finally escaped his system before he realized the gravity of his words. He was trying to force Hiei to listen to him, to not have a way out. Was he simply trying to trap him in a cage, hoping to domesticate a wild creature? Or was it wrong to think that way? He only wanted to talk to him, to not have the fear that his words would drive the other away, fear that his words were the only thing binding Hiei to him and fear that, at any minute, they could destroy the bonds he so carefully formed. He didn't want to be afraid anymore.

The fire demon was leaning towards him now, upright with his hand resting on his knee. There was no anger or annoyance in his eyes yet no warmth in his tone, "What are you planning on asking?"

"Plenty of things." Kurama didn't know whether he wanted to laugh or cry, "But mostly I want to ask about you. I don't mind if you don't answer, I'd just like you to bear with me through the whole questioning process, if you would be so kind."

A minute of consideration went by, the red head could see Hiei's calculating eyes staring into his own, crimson locks considering him with perplexity and strangely, curiosity.

"Fine. But if I don't like something I won't answer it. Ask away, fox."

_What? What? What?_

Was this happening? His heart began to rapidly beat, mouth agape in shock. Was he really able to ask anything without fear of a landmine? Quickly he snapped out of his daze and immediately began to throw out his questions.

"What is your favourite food?"

"Nothing in particular."

"What do you like to drink?"

"I don't care for anything."

"Are your answers always half-baked?"

"Shut up."

He knew Hiei for years but in those twenty minutes he learnt things he never knew. Like how he liked hot baths in springs and that he could stich his own clothes. Or that he detested the cold yet winter was his favorite season. That he'd never taken a train and he didn't enjoy swimming. All these simple facts about him made Kurama's heart flutter about so wildly he was worried the other could hear or notice how flustered he'd become from learning just small truths.

He didn't even notice the time fly by till he glanced at the clock. Hiei had probably talked more than he ever did in his lifetime and somehow that made him feel warm. He wished it was always like this. Where he could treat Hiei as a person and not something he had to hold at arms-length to avoid triggering it off. Where he could watch his lover freely, because he wanted to and where he could speak his mind without having the terrible fear that somehow his words could drive him away. But then, he knew, to Hiei, words were as loud as his actions and they had the same consequences. Words had to be sheathed and only used when necessary.

_But did it really have to be that way?_

"Are you finally satisfied?" The shorter cloaked demon sighed loudly, visibly annoyed by his pestering

_Just ask him, ask him the question. You're already here why stop now? You've gone too far to stop here._

"I just have one more question."

There was a ringing in his ears, like static running up across his spine, numbing his already cluttered brain. He tried to focus, to look directly at Hiei when he spoke but he could not. He tried to be brave as he asked the question that he always thought would cause the other to never return to his room again.

"Do you love me?"

He couldn't look at him now, he didn't dare glance at him. He dreaded seeing the look that would break him into fine pieces of glass shards, a look that he had nightmares about. The look of disgust, of annoyance at his weak and pointless words. He had exposed himself; had laid his heart bare in front of a demon who absolutely despised weakness, who abhorred cowardice. But then again, wasn't that the bravest thing to do?

"You don't have to answer me," He finally interjected, _before you break my heart anymore, _"What I meant to say was actually, I want to be able to have proper conversations with you."

_Asking for proof of ones love and wanting to talk are __**completely**__ different, Kurama, __**think**__!_

"Honestly," He began again, "I am constantly scared of offending you or causing you harm by my words, I'm always careful around you. Making sure not to upset you, to speak of things that don't make you uncomfortable. I don't want that."

"I want to talk with you, without having to think about whether what I say will make you hate me. I want us to argue about things, to disagree. I want your words to hurt me and sometimes I want my words to hurt you. I want you to be offended with what I say and I want to listen to what you say, no matter how far away it is from what I believe."

He felt a stinging in his eyes, but he refused to stop. He had to say this now. He couldn't help the words flowing out of his mouth.

"I want to be able to stare at you all I want and not feel shame or guilt from it. I want to be able to smile at you and tease you and just be with you without silently hoping that my words or actions won't cause you to leave my side. I'm just, so tired of being afraid." His words were whispers now, he still could not make out the others expressions and he didn't dare take a peek to see.

Silence was painful now, pressing the shard that had pierced his chest further into his heart. Kurama swallowed heavily, the lump in his throat refusing to budge. He would stay here, staring at his shaking hands as he held them together, rubbing his palms soothingly as he hunched further into himself. _If only you could see how hard it is Hiei, if only you could see…_

He heard movement, the movement of Hiei standing up. Did he plan on leaving? Some part of him wished he would leave, just end it here. Never speak of this again, to never get any closer to him. Another part of him made him want to scream at him, to lunge at him_. I fucking love you, don't you get it? I'm sorry but that's what happened. Just don't leave me…_

"I'm sorry." Kurama mumbled, "I was being an idiot. I think too much, forget it."

"That's your problem fox, when I leave you alone your brain just can't stop thinking up crap."

_What?_

_Did he just call my confession crap? _A coldness enveloped his body as he heard the humor escape Hiei's lips.

"What?" Anger suddenly appeared where numbness had been, "You think this is funny?"

Suddenly he realized he was looking right at Hiei, he had moved closer now, his face held no disgust or outrage. The demon's mouth curled slightly into a smirk, almost mocking him and he felt his blood boil. He had never felt so angry at the one he loved.

"This is a big deal to me, Hiei." He never thought he would raise his voice at him, "And here you are, laughing at me? Do you know how many months I've agonized over this? How long it's been racking my brain?"

"Well, as I thought, you always over think fucking everything. I'm not surprised." He chuckled.

"What, why are you laughing?" Kurama was shouting now. "It's not a god damn joke, Hiei!"

"Isn't this what you wanted?"

The red head stopped moving, anger completely dissipating from his thoughts. It was true. He had never been angry at Hiei, never shouted or scolded him. But Hiei had purposely made fun of him, made him argue. _They had argued for the first time._ He didn't even think about offending Hiei at that point, he had only felt the need to raise his voice with him.

"I can't figure you out," Hiei sat next to him now, the bed lifting slightly from his weight, "Whose one wish is to argue with their partner? I can't get you at all. Hey, why are you such an idiot?"

"Obviously you weren't listening because that was only around ten percent of my emotional speech."

"Whatever, you just over think things, not everything is complicated."

"But it's you I'm talking about and honestly I'm still getting over being mad at you so please don't lecture me on 'complicated'."

"Shut up."

He watched his partner again; hands relaxed, eyes watching the ceiling fan spin delicately, wind casually brushing his bangs across his eyebrows, the tint of the white markings strikingly visible in the evening sun. He stopped caring about figuring out when he came to feel that Hiei was beautiful, that Hiei was someone he wanted to be with. What mattered was that he wanted to be with him now, that he found him incredible and amazing at present. That at one point in time, he fell in love. He didn't need a date, it was a mystery he no longer wanted to solve.

He leaned slowly closer, his face touching his partners slightly as he kissed him. He could have been imagining it but he felt Hiei's mouth part wider than he ever thought it did before. He heard the fire demon exhale roughly through his nose as he gently slipped his tongue against the others teeth, lips dry and cracked against his own. Once they parted, he looked at him again as he placed a hand on Hiei's shoulder, firm yet shaky from nervousness that he no longer wanted to hide. He wanted to hurt him, to scare him, to surprise him and annoy him and love him till he was no more.

"Hiei, do you love me?"

Silence as the other looked away, frowning slightly. A slight blush in his cheeks that caused the red head to smile.

"I don't hate you."

Kurama had never felt so much elation at a single unsheathed sentence.

"That's good enough for now."

**_If you liked it review it to tell me what you thought, any critique is greatly appreciated this is my first work in a very long time and I'm afraid I'm a little rusty._**

**_Thanks for reading!_**

**_Lily Nova_**


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